Some weeks fly by so fast that I can hardly keep up with confessing.
All the days in between each confession hold an eternity of choices, some bad, many good, but the bulk are of a mundane nature, suited to the ordinary order of living every day. Only when I mull over the consequences of a choice I have to make do the ripples come into focus.
I know I am a bit more contemplative than many, but my life, especially right now, is quite hectic. I do not contemplate the choices as much as I should. I put blinders on and charge forward on a path I am familiar with, apologizing later and making excuses for some of my less than thoughtful choices. I am, after all, only human, right? But to what standard do I hold humans to? And how do I get away with thinking my standards are better than, say, yours? Or yours? From what dark orifice might I have pulled that set of standards and why can I make exceptions for my lack of discipline but not yours?
Yes, I am quite shame-faced here. In this plastic-free July, I have released more plastic into the environment via trash bags than I can remember from any other time in my adult life. Even as I say that my mind tries to soften the blow with excuses.
Whatever judgement I settle on for myself, the reality is that if I can't stem the use of plastics in my little bitty world, how can I ask others to? I seem to have a readjustment of heart to order here. Perhaps next week I will have a better report and my confession will be a little less guilty.