Feeling


Though at times it hurts, feeling life is good. How we feel is what we remember. How we make others feel, well, that's what they'll remember. We always have an impact on other peoples' lives, whether or not we or they want to admit it. I still remember the names of my teachers who made me feel worthwhile, as well as those who made me feel smaller that an ant on the Empire State Building.

I did a lot of crying when I was a kid. Seems like it was my first reaction to any situation I encountered. I only now realize that it was my reaction to fear, because I was scared of everything. I have gotten over that. But I still cry sometimes. When pride pricks my eyes while watching my kid perform somewhere the tears flow. When I am surprised and delighted by a kind gesture I have cried. When I miss my father my eyes will mist. I have even been known to cry when I am frustrated or very tired.

Laughing is something I do more than crying though. I have even laughed myself to tears! This is my preferred method for crying. I love the release of tension and the way a good laugh puts me in a positive mindset.

Feeling empty is also something I have experienced. I never could figure out why, but it also passed with time and tears and laughter. One of the best things anyone did for me while I felt empty was to let me, but sit with me a while so I knew that even in my emptiness I was worth their time and company. I knew that I was loved no matter my state of being.

I'm so glad there have been so many emotions to feel in my lifetime so far. It keeps me human and humble and helps me relate to all other humans across many kinds of borders.


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© 2016-2020 by Janine Clark-Barry